Secret Heart
by kapaliela.nani
Summary: Katie is pregnant.  Care to know the story?  Want to find out who is the father?  T for now, maybe M later
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my second attempt. My first attempt publishing here failed, never continued the story. I got inspired to write this one because everyone around me had either gotten pregnant or engaged or had a scare so why not write about it. I hope anyone that reads it likes it and/or reviews.**

**So the title comes from Feist's "Secret Heart".**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything BTR**

Two little stripes on the plastic device. I couldn't believe it was happening to me. I hadn't told anyone but my best friend Stephanie that I had this suspicion. After my 18th birthday I got really drunk, I was depressed. I know alcohol isn't an excuse and I'm not trying to make it one, but I know of someone who will. So I told Stephanie what happened and how I was feeling and my suspicion, she told me to take a test and well, I'm pregnant.

Who am I you may ask. I'm little Katie Knight who's not so little anymore.

"Katie, can you please get out of the bathroom?" I heard my brother yell through the door. I kinda panicked; no one was supposed to be home.

"It'll take a bit longer, use mom's bathroom!" I said and heard him walk away.

As soon as I could I hid everything in the bag and went to throw it in the big trashcan outside the house that was for every single house on the street.

What happened to the Palm Woods? It's still there, but with four grown 21-year-olds that needed their own space we decided to move.

I tried to sneak back inside the house, but the boys, Camille and Jo were all in the living room that was on the side that I tried to sneak in. I mean really? They choose today to hang out there when they usually don't.

"Well thank you Katie for letting me in the bathroom." Kendall said sarcastically.

"You're welcome big brother." I said with a big smile on my face.

I needed to call Steph, I had no idea of what to do. I didn't want anybody to find out that not only was I gonna be a young mother, because I don't believe in abortion, but also that the father wasn't going to be around because he wasn't the kind to step up.

"Katie, are you okay?" Carlos asked while I realized I stood there for a bit too long.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm gonna go call Stephanie." I said and everybody just nodded.

Carlos and Stephanie had broken up, but remained good friends. She was becoming too busy and had to move so it would've been very difficult.

I went upstairs to my room and dialed Steph's number in my cell phone. She picked it up right away.

"Well?" She asked knowing I had just taken the test.

"Positive." I said hardly being able to articulate.

"What are you going to do?" Asked Stephanie with a worried tone in her voice.

"Abortion is not an option." I said immediately, probably sounding like a very publicized slogan.

"Yeah, we've been over that already. But I was trying to say that well you don't have the dad's support and you don't want to tell anyone, not even your mom. Don't you think everybody is going to notice you're not that thin anymore in a couple of months." She said with an obvious tone in her voice.

"I'm not stupid, I know that. But for now it won't show, I have 3 months till the bump shows, there's only 2 months of high school left. I can just go away after that."

"Go where?" she asked a bit hysterical.

"First, calm down. Second, I really don't know." I said started to get worried myself.

"Well you need to figure it out, but Katie gosh, I'm really worried about you. I know you've always been mature and all but…" she trailed off.

"Seriously don't worry." I said trying to convince both of us.

I was worried, very much. I told her what was happened and how I got pregnant, but she still pushed me in two things: asking for help and telling her who the father was. See, I don't want to tell anybody who the father is because I know for a fact he doesn't remember that night. Besides, if I tell him or anyone things just won't be the same, everything will break apart.


	2. Chapter 2

**So I'm really impressed. See every time I get sent an e-mail it goes straight to my phone. My phone wouldn't stop beeping and my mom was like: oh my god that boy is psycho (she just assumed it was my very recent (as of friday) ex and I didn't care to correct her, but also she didn't notice that the text beeping and the e-mail one are different). But you guys made me happy in more ways than one. I'm glad you guys liked it, to all that subscribed please review, I would like to see your comments on how the story is developing and who you guys might think the dad is. Every chapter has a hint.**

**I'm bummed that the boys didn't get a blimp last night but they were very good on their performance, so I decided to cheer myself up with videos of James with glasses and Kendall with his tattoos.**

"Katie, can I talk to you?" My brother asked while peeking inside my room.

"Sure, come in."

I motioned for him to come inside and he shut the door. He sat beside me in my bed. I hadn't been feeling well, too much dizziness. The other day it happened in cheerleading practice and everybody has gotten worried.

Yes, cheerleading, but please don't judge me by it. I had a Kim Possible moment so I decided to try it. Also I had the urge to impress him, the guy I've always loved. He had always been this amazing guy, really sweet and caring, but also very popular with the girls and confident on his seducing skills even if sometimes they ended up being awkward, he always made it work for him. I was jealous that he never looked at me that way, so I tried everything possible, but not too obvious.

"What's been going on with you?" Here we go… "Everybody is worried, mom is kind of in a state of shock and we don't know why, but we think it has to do with you." Kendall looked frustrated, he sighed and continued. "I feel horrible just thinking that we have to go on tour tomorrow for a while and you're both down."

"But Kendall I'm okay. Yes I've been feeling a little sick, but maybe is just the rush of everything that's happening, it's starting to become real." I said it and it was true, but in more ways than one, ways he wouldn't understand.

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean you alienate yourself from everybody. When was the last time you pulled a prank with Carlos? Or went with Logan to the library and then skating, watch movies with James, go shopping with Jo and Camille?"

"I don't know Kendall, I know it's been a while but I need to have time for myself too you know." I screamed at him, freaking mood swings.

He looked surprised, kind of shocked. He nodded and left my room, and I couldn't help but cry. Not only because of the mood swings but because I was hurting the one's I loved. I was only a month and a half in, only 2 weeks until graduation, a month until I left my home.

I was going to live with Stephanie. I would help her making the movies, so I would gain money and wouldn't have to be under stress. The stress I was under was already enough and I know the baby felt it.

"Okay! That's it young lady, get out of the bed right now!" My mother came into my room screaming. She went to my closet and picked out sweats and a t-shirt. "Get dressed and come downstairs." She said throwing the clothes at me.

I didn't know what had gotten into her but I freaked out. My mom, she's really the sweetest most understanding mother. You barely see her mad, freaking out yes, but in a calm and sarcastic way. I had never seen her like this. I got dressed and put my converse on. I was walking down the stairs like a scared puppy.

"Guys, we'll be back soon, there's food done in the oven." My mom yelled at the guys who where in the backyard.

I followed my mom to the car silently. I got in and buckled my seatbelt. The whole ride I had been looking around the car, and the view, and felt kinda sick like about to throw up but I really had to hold it in. I saw my mom pull over.

"Gosh, if you need to throw up just say so." She said while turning off the car and helping me outside.

She kinda freaked me out. She was acting strange, but even more strange was what she told me while holding my hair.

"Honey, you're pregnant, you're gonna puke a lot, but you need to tell me on time, I don't want my car to get completely ruined." She said very calmly.

How did she know? I hadn't told her, I bet Stephanie didn't because if there's one thing I know is that she knows how to keep a secret. That's why I didn't tell Jo or Camille, they tend to babble a bit too much around the guys. Stephanie doesn't give any hints to a soul, even when she's all bubbly around Carlos.

"How did you..?" I trailed off while in shock.

"I'm your mother, and you're looking just like I did when I was pregnant with Kendall. You're gonna have a big belly, your cheeks are already getting a bit chubby and I think you may be having a boy." She said with a big smile on her face.

"Oh, so you're not mad?" I asked.

"No honey. I was wishing for a grandkid already, I missed having kids around. Sure, I thought it would be Jo and Kendall, but it doesn't make a difference if it's you that gives me my first grandchild. But I am curious, because as far as I know you don't have a boyfriend, so who was the jerk?" She asked, and might I add when she said jerk it was kinda like she read it right off my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**I keep getting surprised about how many subscriptions I keep getting, me is very happy ^_^. Well for all of you who said James might be the dad, well, lets just say he will play an important part in the story but he's not the biological daddy. So I'm not posting tomorrow because I have way too much homework for wednesday but on wednesday I'll be posting another chapter, hopefully a longer one, it depends. But please keep reviewing and commenting what you liked and all. Any ideas you might have for anything let me know, it can make the story better and don't worry my friend only read the chapters a few minutes (not that much of a head start) before I post them and she's already bugging me to write more. My mind has been a bit evil these past couple of days so who knows what I'll end up writing.**

I didn't know what to tell her, so I only told her I was feeling better and we kept on going on the road. She was taking me to the hospital to check on the baby, yup, she truly knew, hence the very comfortable clothes.

"Honey come on, let's get you checked up." She said making me realize we were at the hospital.

We got to the reception and they told us where the OB/GYN area was. We checked in over there. I could feel my mom's gaze; I hadn't answered her question yet. How was I going to tell her who the dad was? I could barely think of even telling her the story. I hate doing this to her because I know, I can tell she's worried. But she does have to know, this is killing me inside too, knowing that my baby won't know who to call daddy. It was killing me knowing that I would raise the baby alone and not share it with the person I love. Yes I would love the baby, but I love the baby's father too, I've always loved him.

He's the most lovable person I've ever met. He always took care of me when I needed it the most. He loved me like a brother, but I always loved him more because I knew he deserved more than he got. That was my mistake, falling in love, giving him my everything. It would have ruined everything if he remembered that night. I know everything would have changed and I just could never stand not having him in my life.

"Katie Knight?" The receptionist called getting me back to reality.

"Here."

"Please follow me." She said motioning for my mom and me to go inside with her.

We went inside the office and sat down waiting for the OB to come.

"Hello, I'm doctor Garwood, but you can call me Tisha. How can I help you today?"

"Well Tisha, my daughter is pregnant and we just wanted to make sure everything with the baby is okay." My mom said surprisingly calm, I say that because the doctor's face was priceless.

"Doctor it's okay, it surprised me too." I said trying to get the doctor out of her trance.

"How old are you again?" She asked.

"I'm eighteen."

"Oh okay, I thought I was hallucinating." She sighed in a way of relief. Apparently she has seen many mothers pissed off about it.

My mom and the doctor had a nice chat. They were complementing each other in every sentence that was related to the pregnancy care. They both gave me advice. My mom is very happy but it seems like she's too happy, I got to talk to her, but after this.

We started the check up, well sonogram. The jelly was freezing cold, but after a bit it was kind of soothing.

"Ready to see it?" The doctor asked with a big smile on her face.

"Very ready." I said with an even bigger smile.

I was slowly but surely liking the idea of seeing such a precious thing grow inside you. Yes, it still scared the crap out of me the thoughts on how would I raise him, or even if I would be a good mother.

And there it was. A little dot moving in water. It will be getting bigger soon enough. I would see if it's a boy or a girl, although mom already thinks it's a boy. I don't care, I just know this is a precious thing and I'm going to love it as much and more as I loved its dad.

**Well hope you enjoyed this tiny chapter. If you review please tell me where are you from, I'd like to know.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm back! I'm ignoring homework right now because it really got me frustrated, teachers.. they think we don't have lives. Anyways I'm really happy with your reviews, I showed them to my friend and she was hugging me every time I got one because I just got too excited.. is it weird? About the papa... well.. you will know very very soon, but not in this chapter jejej. The song in here is called "Something we call love" from Broken Heart College, they're Italian and I'm kind of obsessed with Italy or just learning about cultures. I hope you guys enjoy the next chapter, let your feelings show.**

We were on our way home already. I was holding the picture of the sonogram; I couldn't stop looking at it.

"Katie, you still haven't answered. Who's the baby's dad? When did you even get pregnant?" My mom asked sounding a tad desperate.

"It was in my birthday." I said avoiding the other question.

"Yes honey, but who's the dad? He has to do his part too in this you know."

"Mom, he… I can't tell you who he is, or at least not right now." I said trying not to frown as much as I felt I could do at that moment.

"But he has to be responsible…" I interrupted her. "That's just it mom. He wont step up, so there's no point on anyone knowing who he is."

"What? He told you that? Just wait til Kendall knows. He's going to want to kill him." She said obviously angry.

"Mom don't tell Kendall, or any of the guys, anyone for that matter. The only other person that knows I'm pregnant is Stephanie and I would like to keep it that way."

"Why not Katie? He's your brother, and he really cares about you. He deserves to know." My mom said while pulling in the driveway.

"I know that, but this is my life and my decision mom." I told her dryly.

"You have to tell him." She commanded.

"Well no!." I said while getting out of the car and slamming the door. She got out and started to quickly follow me.

"What are you doing huh? Come back here!" She said while I opened quickly the door and ran upstairs ignoring my mom and earning the glance of everybody.

When I got to my room I slammed my door, but knowing that everybody was going to ask mom what was going on I decided to eavesdrop, which was not that hard to do.

"Mom what's going on?" Figures, Kendall always had his nose in first. "She seems more upset than before she left."

"Look Kendall this is up to her to tell you." At least she respected my decision at the end, but she should've at least tried to keep it on the down-lo. "I'm going to go over to my friend Marissa's house in case you boys need anything but I'm sure you guys can handle yourselves and Katie." She said while walking out the door.

I locked my door and I turned the music up. I know why mom is upset, she always wanted for us to be open with each other about everything. But this is why I didn't even want to tell her, I know she is disappointed. I know she wanted a grandbaby but she also wanted me and Kendall happily married or with a steady person when that happened.

I started singing softly while listening to the song, remembering everything that happened.

I can't forget

The day you took my breath away

And I can't pretend

Tonight you're gonna stay yeah

I see you dead

In my dreams again

Inside my soul

There's something you can find, something you can

_I had been longing for this for so long. He had always been my every thought since the very first moment. Now the moment that we could share something, anything at all, even if it was wrong had arrived._

She said that he's the one can't stay here

A mystery, A poetry

Something we don't know

He said she's the one can't sleep here

A mystery, A poetry

Something we collide

_He couldn't stay there, somebody would know, he had to leave my room. He couldn't stay to sleep with me, he had to go back to his girlfriend._

Now here I stand

Staring at my empty bed (Staring at my empty bed)

So I close my eyes

I swear I'm trying to fly

I swear I'm trying to fly

Now hold me tight

And tell me how I'll be alright (And tell me how I'll be alright)

So take my hand

Tell me this is not the end

_He had already left but I wished so bad to have him hold me through the night. It was my birthday, but everyone enjoyed the party except for me. That made it easy for him to sneak out, nobody was home yet._

She said that he's the one who can't stay here

A mystery, A poetry

Something we don't know oh

He said that she's the one who can't sleep here.

A mystery, A poetry.

Something we can know Oh.

I just wanna let you know (Yeah).

You'll always be deep inside of me.

I don't wanna let you go.

You'll always be in my dreams.

In my dreams.

She said that he's the one who can't stay here.

A mystery, A poetry.

Something we don't know.

He said that she's the one who can't sleep here.

A mystery, A poetry.

Something we can know.

Maybe something we could know.

Maybe something we can know.

Maybe something we could know

(Maybe something that we could know)

I kept listening to the last beats of the song and decided to turn it off. I realized it was making it worst and I couldn't do it to my baby. I loved the sound of it, knowing that soon I would have something of my own to love and someone who would love me unconditionally.

I was submerged in my thoughts when I heard a soft knock on the door…


	5. Chapter 5

**Well you guys made me really happy with your reviews so I threw in here what you all have been asking about. Some of you knew, some of you doubted, but were really close. Thank goodness I wrote this one this morning before school because if it would've been right now it wouldn't have been a good chapter. Today was a tough day. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.. guess what happens next?**

"Who is it?" I asked softly.

"It's James, everybody left and I'm bored." He said shamefully.

I got up and opened the door to see my adored huggable bear. He was proof Hollywood wasn't so bad after all, he also proved he was a normal person. He had changed so much in the past years, especially since his biggest break up. He loved that girl so much and she shattered his heart. He wouldn't stop hurting for a long time. I'm kinda glad that happened, not in a cruel way, but because it opened his eyes. He started treating girls better, he wasn't that player anymore, he became my shoulder to cry on, although it got him to be a little less popular with the girls.

"Movie?" I asked, it was usually what we did.

"I don't really feel like watching a movie, can't we just drive up to the beach?" He said letting me know he was frustrated and needed to clear his head.

"Sure, why not."

The beach wasn't so far away from the house; it was actually in between our house and the Palm Woods. It was the place where I got drunk after my birthday.

We got there and we sat on our usual spot, by the palm tree. We sat there for a while, just looking at the horizon and the sky. The starts looked bright, as bright as they were that night…

_To think that it was his girlfriend who gave me the bottle of sangria to drink. It was my favorite, she knew. I had drank before but never like this. Hated seeing them both together and happy at MY party. It was my birthday and I couldn't enjoy it. Everybody was happy, everybody had a special someone to share it with, it felt more like a Valentine's dance and God knows I hate that day. Even James had found a date, a very nice one everyone approved of. I went to a different part of the beach, if I just sat by the palm trees someone could easily find me and not only am I a minor but I can have 4 guys and a mother on my case which is not very helpful._

_Then there he was, with the biggest smile I had ever seen making his way over to me._

"_You know, you shouldn't be drinking alone, it's not a good sign." He said with a smirk on his face._

"_It's not bad for goodness sake. I just needed to get away from there, I just wanted a small thing, but mom just had to invite everyone that knew me to try to make me feel better." I said while putting the bottle down._

"_She doesn't mean any harm, she loves you a lot Katie and it has been hurting her to see you like that." He said while grabbing my bottle and drinking from it._

_We were like that for a while, talking, laughing, but it got to a point where we wanted to drink as fast as we could, which got him very drunk. I was drinking a lot for what I was used to, fine, but he had been drinking all night, and he kept mixing so now he was drunk._

"You okay Katie?" I heard James ask before pushing away my thoughts.

"Yeah I'm fine." I replied.

"It seemed like you were in another planet or something." He said making fun of me.

"Oh shut up, it's called using your brain for thinking." I teased.

"Me no smart?" He said while trying to hold a laugh.

"No, you brain dead." I said while making fun of him.

This had been our usual hanging out from a while back, either movies at home or the beach just to think, not much talking or anything. This was home now, so we had to find a place to go where you could think quietly. At home Kendall was always into people's business. Carlos was always doing pranks, well not as good as they used to be, he had grown to be a smarter person. James had let himself show his true feelings. And Logan.. wow.. he did an almost 180, lets just say it was more like 165 turn. He was still smart and sweet, but the old way of James had kicked into him. He had figured a way to get girls, sweep them off their feet, let them down, pick them back up, shower them with wonderful words and destroy their hearts. It was like a past time for him. Whenever he wasn't with Camille, because they still were on and off all the time, he would do that. But even after all of that just the look at his face made me feel in love with him, I loved him, and it didn't matter how destroyed I could feel. I preferred having that pain after knowing that he was mine in a certain moment.

After a while of being at the beach we just headed home. Kendall was the only one back home. Just one look at his face and it made me feel guilty. I went over to him and hugged him.

"I'm sorry about today." I whispered into his chest.

"It's okay baby sis. I shouldn't have been so nosy." He said knowing that it was what I was thinking of him, I would always let him know. "I just forget you're not that much of a baby sis anymore, you're growing, you need your space." He said hugging me tighter.

"It's okay."

I couldn't take it anymore; I knew everything might blow up soon if I didn't start acting normal again. Thank goodness they're leaving tomorrow, it would be much easier, but I just hope that when they come back they don't ask too much.


	6. Chapter 6

**So yeah, now you guys know who's the father: Logan. Well this is kind of a transition chapter. New things are going to appear so it will make the story more interesting. Anyways I'm going to be updating again on monday. I hope you guys have a great weekend. Make me happy with your reviews ^_^.**

It was graduation day. The boys had Skyped with me earlier in the morning. They were not surprised that I didn't go to prom; I never liked the dresses and all that stuff. I was going to the graduation because my mom wanted to see at least one of her kids on an actual graduation; the Palm Woods School only has a simple ceremony.

I decided in a way that I was lucky to be pregnant at this time. Yes it sounds weird but if you think about it you'll figure that I hate wearing heels and since I'm pregnant, my dear mom won't make me.

"Hey honey, you ready?" My mom said while looking at me putting make-up on.

"Yeah, mom, I'll be down in a minute. Is Stephanie here?" I asked hoping my best friend would have gotten here on time.

"Yes, both Stephanie and Fabio are here." My mom said with a couple of giggles.

Mom and Fabio had been dating when we met him but he had to travel a lot and barely spent any time in LA so mom got really depressed. But after a few years he cut back on his travel and decided to spend more time here, so now they're dating again.

I went downstairs with my gown and cap in hand. Stephanie hugged me once she saw me.

"How's my best "preggy" friend doing?" She said while patting my stomach, it wasn't as toned as it used to be, but since the dress I was wearing wasn't tight at all nobody would notice.

"Shut up you dummie, I'm doing fine and so is the baby." I said while laughing.

"Katie, language. The baby can hear you even in the early stages." My mom said very concerned.

That time we fought we were mad for about three days but we made up quickly. This was no time for fighting, we both needed to stay together. I needed my mom to help me get through this as much as she wanted to help me take care of her very first grandkid.

"Sorry mom, let's just go to the graduation." I said while motioning everybody towards the front door.

Everyone was in the entrance. They were telling the parents and friends to go inside because the students had to get set up. The graduation well, I barely paid attention to it until they started recognizing the students. They recognized the cheerleaders on this class and jocks and all that. Later they started giving the honor medals, I was one of those too, I had to be smart. When I got up to the podium to receive my diploma my mom went quicker than before to take a picture, she was really happy.

After the whole ceremony thing was done we went out to dinner at Olive Garden…

"Mmm, Italian food." I said while eating the bread.

"Honey, it's just the bread." Said my mom giggling.

"But it's still so good." I said before taking another bite.

"Oh my goodness, your pregnancy is going to be more interesting than mine." Said my mom softly laughing holding onto Fabio's arm.

"Have you thought about baby names?" Stephanie asked really excited.

"No, not really. I guess I'll start thinking when I figure if it's a boy or a girl." I said honestly.

"Well as long as I'm the godmother is all good." Steph said.

"Honey, I was thinking, if you don't want the boys to know you're pregnant, what are you going to do. The bump will show soon." My mom asked.

"Well she's moving in with me." Stephanie said.

"Oh well that's nice. At least you're not going to be that far away, just an hour and a half drive."

Dinner was good. I was glad nobody was pressuring me anymore into telling them who was the father or what exactly happened. I was just glad they didn't think it was a huge mistake. Of course, they got shocked and mad, but it was because they cared and at this time I appreciated this.

On the way home mom got a call…

"Oh, hey baby, how are you boys doing?... Aww but you will always be my baby… Yes she's here, you want to talk to her?... Okay, I'll put Katie on." She turned to me motioning for me to take her cellphone.

"Hey bro."

"Hey sis, how was the graduation?" Kendall asked.

"Good, normal I guess. But I'm thinking you didn't call just to say that."

"You thought right. See Katie I was thinking of proposing to Jo and I wanted for you to hear me out on ideas." He said getting excited by the second.

"Sure, tell me."

"What about I write her a song and give her the ring at the end? Or my other idea which is when we go to her hometown and her family comes to the concert and sees us backstage ask her dad for her hand and then give her the ring?" He asked. Both ideas were good but the second out was better.

"The second one is better." I told him truthfully.

"Good, then the first one will be Logan's way of proposing to Camille, we kind of overheard they wanted a double wedding and we thought it was a good idea but they don't know we heard them."

And right then I felt like my heart shattered. I couldn't talk, I just gave Stephanie the phone and she took it.

"Hey Kendall… It's Stephanie… Well she gave me the phone she was holding herself but she really needed to pee… Yeah sure, I'll tell her to call you back… Okay, bye." She hung up the phone and gave me a knowing look.

I couldn't believe it was happening. The person that I loved was going to get married. I knew it was coming, that I just had to give it time, but it still broke my heart.

The rest of the ride was silent. When I got home I got up to my room with Stephanie. As soon as she closed the door I started to cry. She hugged me for a long time, she hugged me until I stopped crying.

"Katie, can you please tell me what's wrong?" She pleaded.

"Can we start packing? I want to go as soon as I can."

She just nodded.


	7. Chapter 7

**So sorry I didn't post yesterday, our great FF was being stubborn. Anyways, thanks to all of you for your reviews, you really turned my frown upside down. This week is turning out to be a tough one. I will try to post every day but if I can I promise I'll make up for it soon enough, maybe post longer chapters or have another story, who knows. Well I hope you enjoy this chapter, very interesting details here.**

"_Honey I'm going to miss you so much." Mom said while hugging me tightly._

"_Mom the baby can't breathe." I said, she was literally leaving me with no air._

"_Oh I'm so sorry. I just can't believe this is happening." She said as she sat on the couch in the living room._

"_Mom but it's ok, at least I'm in driving distance." I said while hugging her and I couldn't help but let a tear fall._

_I pulled away and went outside over to the car where Stephanie was waiting with my things. I felt sad because this meant that I was going to begin a life not only as an adult but also having to take care and raise a kid all by myself._

_I got in the car and put my seatbelt on. You could see under all the loose clothing the belly starting to pop, well, you could only see it with the seatbelt on._

"_You okay?" I heard Steph asked while I was looking out the window._

"_Yeah I'm fine." I sighed. This step in my life was confusing, but I was sure hoping for the best._

It had been two months since I left my home. I remember it like it was yesterday. But I was happy, I was re-inventing my life. I had begun writing scripts with Stephanie, from every genre, it was becoming like a past time for me. I would usually help her find the locations for her films, which was not that hard. I also helped around the house. She wouldn't let me clean much tho but at least she let me help in what I could.

My belly was already noticeable. No loose clothing would hide it, but right now I was just happy I could show it off. Sure, I was going to be a single mother, but I was getting a lot of love; from my mom, Stephanie, Fabio, I was just glad they supported me. Soon I would bring to the world a bundle of joy that I could love so much and would love me.

I heard the house phone ring…

"I'll get it." I heard Stephanie yell. After a little while she called my name, apparently it was for me.

"Hello?"

"Hey honey, it's mom." I heard my mom say, she was sounding kinda off.

"It's everything okay mom? You sound weird." I asked immediately.

"Honey, I'm a half an hour away, that's first. Second, you're brother and the boys are in town and are coming over to Stephanie's." She said rather quickly.

"WHAT?"

It wasn't as if I hadn't understood her. Even if she said it very quickly I understood every single word of it. I just couldn't believe it.

"Sorry honey, it slipped that you were staying at Stephanie's." My mom whispered.

"It's okay mom. I think it's been long enough, they should know."

I had been long enough. I was still surprised that living with Stephanie and being Kendall's sister he hadn't learned through other people that I was pregnant.

My mom got here soon enough and then we went to the hospital. I was already 13 and a half weeks in (translation: 3 months, 1 week, 4 days), it was time to see the sex of the baby.

"Oh sweetie, you're baby really likes to make fun of people already." Said Dr. Garwood laughing, I mean, Tisha. She was officially my doctor.

"What?" I asked not really knowing what she was referring to.

"See honey she means that the baby is giving us the back so we can't see the sex til the baby turns around." My mom said while Tisha added "exactly".

After that we said our goodbyes and headed back to Stephanie's. I had a craving for a Wendy's Frosty Shake so we stopped by before going to Stephanie's. I was happy my mom was being supportive.

When we got over to Stephanie's we saw the boys' van outside. So, the time had come sooner than expected, but it's time to face it.

Mom got out and opened the door for me and helped me get out of her car. I saw the front door open quickly with four boys trying to get through to say hi. They hugged my mom enthusiastically while I was hiding right behind her. They were all in a group hug but the first one to pull away was James. Just when he was about to hug me he noticed something was in between. He looked down, his face full of shock.

The others soon joined his state and I decided to just walk past them. When I got inside there were two other surprises; Jo and Camille.

"Katie?" Asked Camille in disbelief. She still hugged me enthusiastically, which got me in shock.

Jo only hugged me quickly and pulled back to stare at my belly. I saw the other for idiots do the same when my mom got them inside the house.

"Okay will you all just stop it!" I yelled. I couldn't handle all of them just staring. Not saying anything at all.

"But… Katie, you're… pregnant." Said Kendall barely believing himself.

"No kidding." I said with a full intention of sarcasm.

I saw all of their expressions. Kendall was angry, in shock, just like Jo, but weirdly hers also had a hint of jealousy. Camille was in shock, plainly, just like Carlos. James' face had a hint of disappointment, hurt, confusion. I was scared to look at the last, Logan. His was mixed with frustration, which broke my heart; I hated seeing him in another state that wasn't full happiness.

I went over to the couch and sat, my back was hurting.

Soon enough they all came back to their senses.

"Well we thought we had the big news, but I guess Katie beat us to the punch." Said Camille. I immediately knew what she referred to. Both her hand and Jo's had engagement rings.

I was trying to get used to the idea of not having any more hope for having anything with Logan. It broke my heart, but I had to be strong.

"Katie, when? How?" Said Kendall slowly and painfully articulating the words.

"I'm three months pregnant, thirteen and a half weeks to be exact." I said without any anesthesia thinking nobody would need it, but I was wrong.

Logan's jaw dropped. He looked pale, as if he had seen a ghost. Camille noticed it immediately.

"Logan, baby, you okay?" She asked.

"Katie, you got pregnant on your birthday?" Logan asked after making calculations.

"Yes." I said immediately. I was confused as to how quickly he did the math. I knew he was smart, but I even had to count the weeks and I was the one pregnant.

"Do you know what is it yet?" Asked Stephanie knowing that I was supposed to know the sex today.

"Not yet, it played me." I said laughing.

"Wow, just like it's mommy." She said joining the laugh.

"Katie, who's the dad?" Asked Kendall really angry.

"Yeah, who?" I heard everyone else chorus while listening carefully. I looked at every single boy so I wouldn't make it so obvious, but I registered Logan's look in my mind. He looked afraid, as if he had realized something.

"Look, there is no father. I'm taking care of this baby alone. I'm going to be both mother and father, and the most important thing is that it will be the most loved baby in the world." I said trying to keep my tears from coming out.

I got up and went to my room. I had just realized maybe Logan just realized he was the father. Part of me didn't want him to know. I wanted all the love from that baby for me. He didn't deserve it, he already had love from Camille, and he could have babies with her, he could get the same. He had hurt me so bad, unknowingly, but still he did and I couldn't take it. Yes I was being selfish, but I just couldn't help it. I was tired of being alone, of not having anybody love me. And when he the love of my life kissed me I thought I would never want anything else, but I was wrong. After being pregnant I realized that was it. Who would want a really young girlfriend with a baby? Who would want that package in their full senses?


	8. Chapter 8

**I want to again apologize. I tried to update sooner but it wasn't letting me and when I realized it I was about to miss my plane. So I'm not going back home until friday night/saturday morning, but I'm still going to try to update at least another time this week. Loved your comments, I'm really glad you guys are liking the story, makes me a happy camper =). I want you guys to tell me what do you want to happen in the next chapter.. how do you see it turning? Well I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

"Love is something that when you experience it for the first time is the most wonderful thing, it makes you feel higher and greater than anything in the world. When the love is mutual it lasts longer than eternity. When it's not mutual it can let you down, break your heart, but you don't stop feeling it until you get your second shot at love."

I re-read something that Stephanie had written to help inspire me for a short film. But nothing had come out. She knew it, love stories were not my strongest points. Comedy, I was good in that, horror, that too, action was my best, but I truly sucked at love stories.

It was quiet. The boys went to their concert right after the news because mom made them realize that they were going to be late. Tomorrow I would have to call Kendall, I wanted to make sure that he was okay with it.

"Ooooh, chips and chocolate ice cream." I muttered under my breath, convincing myself to satisfy my craving. Yes, greatly weird craving were crawling in my head. I wanted sour cream and cheddar cheese ruffles with chocolate ice cream.

I put all the stuff down in my bedside table and got off my bed carefully. I carefully opened the door and went downstairs. When I got to the kitchen I was surprised to see the light on. I was even more surprised to see who was there.

"Hey James." I said carefully coming close towards the fridge.  
>"Oh hey Katie." He said after being scared by me, apparently he didn't expect anybody hahahaha.<br>"Why are you here?"  
>"Carlos wanted to stay with Stephanie, they're well.." he trailed off not knowing how to explain.<br>"Just say it. They're having sex because they missed each other and they love each other. I'm not a baby you know."  
>"I know." He said, I could see his stare at my belly.<br>"So, I know about Carlos, but how about you?" I asked still not knowing why he was here.  
>"Well your mom left us her car to get back to the house tomorrow, I'm driving. Plus I didn't feel like being around the couples over there."<br>"And how come you're down here?" I asked knowing his response.  
>"Well I could hear them moan." He said annoyed.<br>"So you prefer that?" I asked laughing.  
>"Oh, shut up." He said while slightly pushing me. "Anyways, why are you up so late?"<br>"I was trying to help Stephanie with a script, but I couldn't, then I got a craving." I said remembering my gross but delicious craving.  
>"What is it, I'll help you." He said offering himself to make it for me while helping me sit in one of the stools of the island.<br>"Ruffles and chocolate ice cream." I said with a big smile.  
>"Wow, pregnant woman craving coming right up." He said laughing.<p>

I was glad somebody was treating me somewhat normally. It seriously freaked me out how they all looked at me. I'm still afraid that they all might think I'm just a slut or something. I don't want anybody to know the whole story, it's just too embarrassing, and I know I was raised better.

"Hey Katie, what are you thinking about?" said James while putting the bowl of ice cream in front of me. I decided to ask; I couldn't stay with the curiosity for long.  
>"James, do you guys hate me?" I asked while a tear was threatening to drop.<br>"Sweetie, don't cry." He said as he came close to me and hugged me. "We don't hate you. Yes we were all shocked, we didn't know this could be possible, or at least we never thought it would happen to you." He said as he put his hand on my belly.

I started to cry. It was the first time in a while I felt that someone genuinely cared. Logan had broken me into many pieces. James held me tighter until I felt a bit better.

I interrupted him, but more like finishing the sentence, "But I beat her to the punch and screwed her joy up." I said realizing what I had done. She was now mad at me.

"Well I better clean this up." I said when I realized the ice cream had melted and left a mess.  
>"Don't worry Katie, you go to your room, I'll take care of it." James said.<p>

I nodded and left the kitchen. I went upstairs to my room and laid on my bed. I didn't bother closing the door. I looked down at my belly; it was already sort of big, I wondered how would I look in 6 more months.

Between baby thoughts I fell asleep. The next morning I felt a hand caressing my face. I was glad to see him.

"How did you sleep Katie?" He said while pushing my bangs off my face.  
>"Good. Are you still mad?" I asked obviously afraid of what he will say.<br>"No sweetie. I'm so sorry about how I acted. It broke my heart that my baby sister is going to go through this alone. But mom talked to me, I'm really proud of you, it takes a lot to take care of a baby alone." Kendall sighed, he looked strange.  
>"What's wrong?" I asked, curious that I couldn't tell anything from his expression.<br>"See, when we all came here it wasn't just because of the news that Camille and Logan got engaged and also Jo and I. Jo is also pregnant, she wanted to give the news, have everybody ecstatic, give mom the pleasure of her first grandchild…"

I interrupted him, but more like finishing the sentence, "But I beat her to the punch and screwed her joy up." I said realizing what I had done. She was now mad at me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to all of you for your reviews. Sadly I wasn't able to upload another chapter this week but here it is. I'm sorry for the delay but i will be making up for it in these ones that are coming. I was at the most magical place on earth, Disney, I felt happy again but sadly I'm back home and counting the days til I go back (63 days! XD). I will be updating soon, tonight or tomorrow for sure and I'm completely positive about it, I have to make it up to you guys for waiting. Hope you like this chapter and review a lot =D**

The boys were finishing up their tour. They had been touring around Massachusetts, Kansas, New York, Georgia, and even Wales at the United Kingdom. It amazed me how they were becoming bigger and bigger every time. But with that said I'll take it you would understand when I said I miss them being by my side. I wanted them to be with me, I needed them. But I couldn't be selfish, they had a job, they were living their dream, and nobody knows if all that would disappear.

Even though all the guys knew about my pregnancy I still lived with Stephanie. I loved helping her do what she does best. I felt like it could take all the pain away from me by keeping myself busy.

"So you're taking things slow right?" he said with a very concerned tone.

"Well I'm still helping Stephanie with the movie, but it hasn't been fast paced." I said with the half-truth.

"Katie, but you have to be careful, it's not good for you to do that. Think about your baby, you have to stay calm for him."

Did I mention I was having a boy? It was just like mom said, she knows her stuff well. I still remember that day; it was right in the middle of the boys tour. They had a little break and they decided to go to separate ways. Camille and Logan went away to ski, Kendall and Jo went to relax on the Caribbean because she was still pissed off at me. Carlos and Stephanie were back together and went away so James stayed with me saying that he didn't feel like it was right for me to stay alone. I had been feeling strange that day so he took me to the doctor…

"_Katie, you have to stop working too much, you can have an abortion and you don't want to lose him do you?" said Tisha._

"_Him?" I said surprised._

"_Yeah, it's a boy, see here? That's his member, another boy added to the family. You got to take care of your family James." Said Tisha._

"_Sure." Said James trailing off._

_I got that weird feeling that she didn't get things right." But I can take care of myself plus it's not your responsibility." I said somewhat defensive._

"_Katie, the responsibility from the very beginning is from both the father and the mother."_

Tisha had thought James was the father, so I set her straight. Still after that James got very protective of me since I didn't want to tell anyone that had happened. He now calls me every day to check up on me.

"Fine, I'll work less." I said defeated.

"Well that's not the Katie I know, but for your sake you better not be lying to me missy, you can't lie to James anymore." Said James laughing hysterically, which caused me to join his laughter.

Of all of them he was the one I missed the most. He made me feel cared for on the moments that I needed someone by my side the most.

I still had those nights that I would cry for hours. Logan had barely spoken to me and it hurt me so bad. He used to be the one who was always there for me and after the pregnancy news he had been avoiding me constantly. We had a little encounter after a while, it wasn't at all what I expected but at the same time it was.

"_Logan, you haven't talked to me in a while." I said obviously sad, but it wasn't part of my mood swings._

"_Katie, why didn't you tell me sooner? Heck, I was supposed to be the first one to know." He said while confusing me._

"_About what?"_

"_That you were pregnant, it was my right to know. We could have ended it on time, you could've still be a normal teenager."_

"_What right do you have? Plus I wasn't going to get an abortion, you know I would never think about doing that, besides I was never normal to begin with." I said angrily, I almost wanted to choke him._

"_But still I'm the father."_

"_No Logan, you lost that right. You have Camille, no one knows you got me pregnant. I know for sure you don't want anybody to know because that means losing Camille. And even if that didn't happen, you still tell me that I could have aborted? That's when you lose the father right." I spat at him to continue. "As far as everybody will know, the father of the baby is a jerk, now confirmed to be more truth than ever, and he will never appear." I told him before walking away with angry tears streaming down my face._

"So, me and the guys are excited to be coming home soon." James said very excited.

"I bet." I said with a laugh.

"Promise me that you will be there at the welcoming party." He said hopeful.

"I don't know James, Jo still hates my guts, Camille does too by association and doesn't that count as not resting and having my baby in danger?" I said hoping he wouldn't insist.

"About the girls well, leave them at that, they'll get over it. But you're right, but still I want to see you that night so my partying is going to be cut short because I'm coming to see you."

And then it hit me; James had always been the one to love partying, and even when he stopped being a player, he was still the party king… he was in love. With whom? I don't know, but I do know that the only reason strong enough to make you change how you normally are is loving someone. That's how it happened when I liked Logan, which made me realize James loved someone and it was a forbidden love.

Who knows anyway, I'm too hormonal lately. I can't think straight, I have lots of cravings but still I'm loving being pregnant. The only down side is that depression comes too easily and to make it go away I work harder and it's not a good thing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks too all of you for your reviews, they made my day. Well I just wrote this, I really needed to get my mind off of everything. Although I kind of remembered I saw some woman's credit card and last name said Schmidt so I was jumpy last monday because of it. I hope this chapter makes sense and also that you like it, I'm kinda weird today so I don't know. So I want to make a poll, who do you want Katie to end up with: James, Logan, someone else or alone and why? The why is very important, it's for inspiration.**

_You're not sure that you love me_

_But you're not sure enough to let me go_

_Baby it ain't fair you know_

_To just keep me hangin' 'round_

Logan had been calling me lately once he figured James had started being my person to go to when things started to feel like they were crumbling down. He said he loved me but he wasn't sure in what way. He said that he didn't want to be away from my life, my baby boy, and me but he wasn't going to leave Camille because he loved her.

_You say you don't wanna hurt me_

_Don't wanna to see my tears_

_So why are you still standing here_

_Just watching me drown_

He called me every once in a while now, but on skype. Camille would always be present and would be all lovey dovey. She of course didn't get why Logan was suddenly so interested in my pregnancy since he showed everybody not to care lately. Poor girl doesn't know my baby is his and it breaks my heart to see how good he can pretend nothing affects him.

_And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine_

_Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine _

_Just take your love and hit the road_

_There's nothing you can do or say_

_You're gonna break my heart anyway_

_So just leave the pieces when you go_

I wanted him to stop pretending. Every time he acted like he cared was making me feel less of myself, like I was being pitied on. He didn't get that for me it wasn't just a one night stand; it was a love that had been there building up for years.

_Now you can drag out the heartache _

_Baby you can make it quick_

_Really get it over with_

_And just let me move on_

I wanted for him to leave me alone. Not just him but everybody. Nobody was being honest with me, they didn't truly care what happened to me or my pregnancy. They cared more about the tour than anything at all. They wanted to live their lives normally, and I was sure I wasn't included in that plan.

_Don't concern yourself_

_With this mess you've left for me_

_I can clean it up, you see_

_Just as long as you're gone_

I wanted to escape, run away where nobody would find me. I wanted a fresh start for my baby, where everyone wanted him. I wanted my baby to be the happiest kid on earth because he deserved it, he brought me joy, thinking about him only made me happier every day and anxious for him to arrive.

_You not making up your mind_

_Is killing me and wasting time_

_I need so much more than that_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah _

_Leave the pieces when you go_

_Oh yeah_

_Leave the pieces when you go_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, _

_Leave the pieces when you go_

I finished singing that song in my room, all locked up. I had always liked Michelle Branch, although this one was with her band The Wreckers. She always had these songs that will make you feel good about what you felt that life sucked. Sure this one wasn't going to make you feel good immediately but at least helped you feel stronger at the moment, which is what I need. I needed to be strong for my baby and for myself. I was feeling like I was torn into pieces and it kept getting worse when the time passed.

The boys had been back from their tour for a bit now, school had started but I didn't. I wasn't feeling lately like a normal person. I never was normal, but I mean normal for me. I didn't want to do things I usually did, the only thing that was my escape was helping Stephanie with the films, but now we were taking a break and all the hurt was tearing me apart.

"Katie can you open up?" I heard my brother say from the other side of the door.

I was about to get up to unlock the door but I couldn't, I had a lot of pain, not emotional but physical.

"Kendall I can't!" I screamed.

"Katie stop being so childish, you have to come with us. Maybe you're just not fit to be a mother if you keep your chil-" I cut him off. "Shut up and get help, I can't get up!" I screamed at him, I was in pain and pissed off at how he talked to me. I was fit to be a mother, but I just wasn't getting that much support, I felt like I was alone.

Mom had been supporting me, also Steph, Carlos and James, but I still felt alone. I didn't know how important could the dad role be, but I guess I have my mom for inspiration; she has been both mother and father for Kendall and me for a long time now.

Maybe I missed Logan too much. He stopped being the person that I could always go to, even if I was completely in love with him. He kept coming back, but I just couldn't see that Logan that I fell for, he wasn't him anymore, he was tearing my heart apart.


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay so I loved your reviews. So I know who will Katie end up with and I already started to write the last chapter which would be the next one I publish. I hope you guys like this chapter and review.**

It seemed eternal the way over to the hospital. It felt like I was going into labor but it was too soon. I had the sensation that something was wrong, very wrong. I felt Kendall's hand while I was grabbing it hard. I was scared, the most scared I had been in my whole life, and something felt horribly wrong.

The last thing I remember hearing was the doctor saying that nobody unless my mom or the father of the baby could come in. That just made me lose any hope I might have had left and with that I closed my eyes shut.

I felt somewhat numb if it wasn't for something on my hand that was feeling wet. I moved it a bit, I heard my name, I heard the doctor get everybody out. Wait, everybody? What happened?

I slowly regained conscience. The doctor was checking up on me, he looked at me with pained eyes. I saw Tisha, she looked at me with sad eyes.

"What's going on?" I said altered, something was up.

"Hey Katie, how are you feeling sweetie?" Asked Tisha.

"I don't know, I guess fine, I just feel weird. What's going on Tisha?" I asked once again, she was trying to ignore me.

Both of them left without another word. It was freaking me out. I tried to get up but my stomach hurt too much. I saw mom come in.

"Baby don't try to get up." She said while putting me back in the bed. "Don't you dare get off the bed, you have to rest." She said while caressing my check.

"Mom what happened? Why am I here?" I asked. I only remember pain, screaming at Kendall and crushing his hand.

"Honey you just had trouble and pain, but you're okay now, you're safe."

"Trouble? Safe?" I asked, those two words seemed to scare the heck out of me.

"Baby, you had preeclampsia." Said my mom with watery eyes.

I had heard about it before, from Logan and once again in school. This was not good; no wonder I was feeling like something was missing. Right there I realized what had happened; I almost died, but someone decided to save me risking my baby.

"Who made the decision?" I asked knowing that they only let either the mother or the father of the baby, and I just hoped he had come clean.

"Of course me baby, why you ask?" She asked kind of picking up on what I meant, but then continued. "Wait, you mean the father of the baby was.." She trailed off but then I realized more than before, I had no baby.

"It doesn't matter anymore mom, my baby boy is not here." I said crying into her arms.

The day seemed to be eternal, between mom trying to get my to admit who was the father, although I already bet she knew, and Kendall saying that it was his fault. It was my own fault. I didn't completely watch what I ate; I over stressed myself with work to forget about all the stuff that had happened. Then at the end Jo wanted to stay with me for a bit before visiting hours were over.

"What is it Jo?" I asked bitterly. She had already been making my life hell, she hated I was having the first grandbaby so her punishment for me was getting Kendall away from me.

"I'm so sorry Katie." She said with a tear on her face. She sounded like the sincere Jo I used to know once, the one I thought I would never see again, the one I thought it was fake to begin with.

"About?"

"Look Katie I'm sorry about everything alright. I'm sorry Kendall wasn't around when you needed him the most, but you have to understand I was jealous."

"Jealous of what? I was going to be a teenage mother, a single mother. I have no studies or career at all. You have Kendall to support you in case you needed a break, and he's there to love you and the baby. I am the one that was supposed to be jealous and well I was." I said truthfully.

"Yeah, but you should've seen the joy on your mom's face every time she came back from being at the doctor with you. How Kendall wanted you to name the boy after him… I don't know. But I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and I'm sorry about what happened to the baby. I know that if I lost my baby girl I would die." She said while touching her belly.

I couldn't say anything. Seeing her like that made me miss my baby too much. I was just glad she understood and left.

That night my mom stayed with me. We were both curled up in the hospital bed. I needed her so much, I felt so alone. I had fantasized about the life with my baby so much. I cried and cried until I fell asleep.

**Hoped you guys liked it. Next one is the finale!**


	12. Chapter 12

**So this is pretty sad for me to finish this. Thanks to all of you who review the last chapter and well every single one jejej. I have two new stories, one being Just Tonight and the other being Daddy Knows Best if you want to check them out. I wont update on those as often right now since I'm on my final month but at least once a week. Hope you guys like the end of the story, I found it kind of weird but oh well, that's how my brain worked.**

"You were right Katie." Said James right after he helped me go back to my hospital bed, it was my last day here. I had been here for two weeks and well, plenty of things happened.

"About?" I said playing dumb.

"I only felt an extra special bond with you because I knew I needed to protect you. You are my best friend Katie and I don't want to lose you." He said while hugging me.

"You never will." I said while comforting him.

See last week he had told me he was in love with me. But I knew he was just confusing things. We had always been really close, not like brother and sister but not just simple good friends. He had been confused because it had been a long time since anything happened.

"So, what happened? Who's the girl?" I asked knowing that was the only way he could've realized it.

"Serena, Stephanie's cousin." He said blushing wildly.

Figures, Serena was only person that could make James feel embarrassed 24/7. I was glad that James finally took an interest in a different kind of girl, after seeing him all those years with those less special girls.

"So you happy you get out of here today?" said James while sitting with me in my bed.

"Yeah, can't stand it here."

"I know, four plain walls." Said James looking at the walls in disgust.

"James, I mean here, home." James looked at me in a sort of shock. "Mom knows about it, I'm leaving tonight."

"What? Katie when did you plan on telling us?" James said looking hurt.

"At dinner. I was going to tell you all and say my goodbyes." I said looking at James hopeful and he nodded meaning he would help me keep it quiet until dinnertime.

It was around 5pm, my plane leaves at midnight exactly, 7 more hours until then.

"Hey honey, you packed everything?" Asked my mom quickly getting inside my room.

"Yeah mom, I didn't bring much stuff to Stephanie's. Besides, I think you might have to sell most of these things." I said looking around the room. Every corner had something baby related, being here just wasn't going to work out.

I was trying to not feel so bad about this. I wasn't happy that I lost my baby even though I was going to be a teenage mother, but maybe it was for the best. I had been depressed being in the hospital; James had been my rock to keep me sane. Although in order for him to help me I had to tell him the whole truth. He was the only person who knew that Logan had been the father of my baby.

I went downstairs to see only my mom. We got into the car and drove to the restaurant. When we got in I could see all the boys with their girls, even James although Serena didn't know it yet. I smiled and we all sat down. It was kind of awkward; Kendall or Logan would be the first one's to stop any of the girls from the baby talk since Jo was still having her baby.

"Guys stop it!" I said a bit loudly, I was getting tired of this.

"Katie but…" Logan trailed off as I glared him letting him know that I didn't want to hear anything at all from him.

"I need to tell you guys something, I'm leaving." I saw everybody confused. "I leave at midnight tonight, this is kind of my farewell dinner." I said and smiled, it felt strange but good to know I would be away from bad memories.

I hadn't even told Stephanie yet so she was the first one to say something.

"And you tell me this now? With everybody else? I don't feel so special anymore." She said jokingly. "It's okay, I kind of knew it would happen. But where are you going?"

"All passengers for the flight 747 with destination to Fort Lauderdale, Florida can start boarding the plane." Said the agents voice on the speakers.

I had found a facility to help me. I knew too much crap had happened in my life for me to be okay alone or to try to help myself. I was aware I needed professional help for this. I planned to start a whole new life and later on when I felt secure enough let my family in. Mom cried at the airport a lot, she knew it might be a while before they would hear from me but still I wont forget her words: "Don't worry baby, if you're fine I'll be fine, I know you already understand it anyways. Someday you will be a mom again and this would still be there, but it will only be a lesson so you can help your child, I learned that with you."


End file.
